Saturday, July 14, 2007

Flights of Fantasy



Last night I dreamed of her,

I could see her crystal clear,

I feared to touch her,

Nor did I managed to get near,

She was standing there waiting for me,

I don't know why,but I could not approach thee,

I wished to touch her and wanted to see,

Her face saying that she loves me more than me,

I saw her holding a bunch of flowers,

I thought may be I am dreaming of first date of ours,

I could however sense that she is sad,

I said to myself let her see me & she will be glad,

My mind thought of surprising her,

I walked stealthily, my steps were deadly,

I reached to her back,

& suddenly gave a light pat,

Why did not she moved,

She is still standing there, her feet glued,

Neither an expression on her face,

Nor did she see me and jumped with pace,

I cleaned my throat with “Ahem !!!”,

Then I called her by name,

Why could not she hear me,

She was still standing leaning on the barren tree,

I looked here and there,

I was lip locked and stranded in fear,

I saw my grave lying ahead,

Unstoppingly from her eyes tears flowed,

Suddenly there was a loud thud,

& found myself on my bed,

Someone banged the door,

Suddenly I felt I was back on shore,

I pushed myself up from the bed,

I was happy because now I didn't felt like dead,

I reached to the door & opened it,

My love was standing there & my face lit,

I held her tight,

I didn't told her how horrible was my night,

But I made her feel that I always want her in my sight,

I hugged her and kept crying,

I wanted to hold the time flying...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi!!!
hey, it's a nice one but the title seems totally unsuitable.....nyways its sweet....keep writin...[:-)]

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I would not like to sound an expert but there are little grammatical mistakes which takes the taste out of poem. Since English is not our first language so certain many common mistakes are always read the 'right' way and they are never the mistakes within our circle of speakers.

I don't know why,but I could not approach thee

I suppose 'thee' cannot be used for third person as you implied 'her' here.

Her face saying that she loves me more than me,

'more than' compares two equivalent objects and here it compares 'verb' with 'pronoun' and the correct way should be 'more than I do'.

Both of these mistakes unfortunately were rendered due to a 'must' use of rhymes.


I could however sense that she is sad,

"I could" makes the tense past and the reported speech 'She was sad" is correct.


So I end here and I'm sure you'll have to work hard on it from the language point of view, however the poetry seems very good, all that is needed is a little furnishing.

Anonymous said...

People should read this.

Poetries inspired by life as it comes!

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